Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
