i think i have herpe
just one?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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