Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
