I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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