brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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