Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
