remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
