YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
