I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
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So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
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Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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