I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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