Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Randomize
