and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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