Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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