We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
