I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
