He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
