She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
