In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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