Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just gargled with NyQuil
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
