when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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