his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
