So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Randomize
