i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
