We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
you inspire me to be a worse person
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
