Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize