I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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