So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
