I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
