So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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