That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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