I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i came on her dog
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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