u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
