its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
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The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
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I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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