After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize