So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
