Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
