mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
