I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
