No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
