I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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