Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
