i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
