I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
