I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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