he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
