why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
