In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
