I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize