Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
