i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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