She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I think a kid would responsible me up
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
