we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
