I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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