I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
