I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
