I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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