ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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