My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
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