I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out mid-signature
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize