So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
