Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I have post one night stand depression
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
