for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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