new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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